I have so many things I want to say... but I didn't want too many people to know too much about me nowadays.
Online, that is.
I still tell most of my stuff to my friends... but I felt that the matters close to me are still better not to be disclosed too publicly online. It might explain why I am blogging this little nowadays.
Actually, I am a person that likes to share. I like to tell things that concerns me to my friends, and pretty much nothing in the world can I not talk about. I am just not too comfortable to be blogging my feelings anymore, much less how I used to be blogging actively, humor inclusive.
It's really a complicated feeling. I might use to say that blogging to me is a form of expression, but it scares me sometimes when some people I've only met once or twice, or even those that we've never met, comes up to me and said they read my blog, even remembering what I wrote. It's like I have lost freedom. I can be held accountable for whatever I write here, defeating the purpose of this blog I started out with: freedom of expression.
It's scary how easy it is for anyone to find out more about me. Just google my name.
I started out this blog as a trial... something like experimenting with new technology. I then realised that I can "talk it out" on my blog, feeling better afterwards. Of course, I rant sometimes (in fact most of the time).
I lost that kind of feeling. I forgot how I used to feel better after writing it out publicly. I don't feel better at all after writing it all out. Or should I say that I felt better, but ultimately, I realised that blogging did not solve the problem as it is still there. It goes back to the starting point again.
I am not what I am now when I am younger. Back then I don't know how to express myself, because a lot of things that I want to express, I couldn't. I am a very, very quiet boy... much quieter than I am now. I just hide it inside. That only changed after I came out.
I guess I am going back to that point again when I was young... just that this time round, I am closing up to anyone that reads my blog online.
However, it's not the end of the road for this blog. My blog will still be here. I will still be blogging on this blog. The contents are not changing too much. You will still see contents like activism, interesting links, interesting stuff that happened to me, how I am improving my relationship with my parents... whatever. Just less of my feelings.
Okay maybe my blog isn't gonna change alot, but closing some part of myself to the online crowd is definitely a yes.
Online, that is.
I still tell most of my stuff to my friends... but I felt that the matters close to me are still better not to be disclosed too publicly online. It might explain why I am blogging this little nowadays.
Actually, I am a person that likes to share. I like to tell things that concerns me to my friends, and pretty much nothing in the world can I not talk about. I am just not too comfortable to be blogging my feelings anymore, much less how I used to be blogging actively, humor inclusive.
It's really a complicated feeling. I might use to say that blogging to me is a form of expression, but it scares me sometimes when some people I've only met once or twice, or even those that we've never met, comes up to me and said they read my blog, even remembering what I wrote. It's like I have lost freedom. I can be held accountable for whatever I write here, defeating the purpose of this blog I started out with: freedom of expression.
It's scary how easy it is for anyone to find out more about me. Just google my name.
I started out this blog as a trial... something like experimenting with new technology. I then realised that I can "talk it out" on my blog, feeling better afterwards. Of course, I rant sometimes (in fact most of the time).
I lost that kind of feeling. I forgot how I used to feel better after writing it out publicly. I don't feel better at all after writing it all out. Or should I say that I felt better, but ultimately, I realised that blogging did not solve the problem as it is still there. It goes back to the starting point again.
I am not what I am now when I am younger. Back then I don't know how to express myself, because a lot of things that I want to express, I couldn't. I am a very, very quiet boy... much quieter than I am now. I just hide it inside. That only changed after I came out.
I guess I am going back to that point again when I was young... just that this time round, I am closing up to anyone that reads my blog online.
However, it's not the end of the road for this blog. My blog will still be here. I will still be blogging on this blog. The contents are not changing too much. You will still see contents like activism, interesting links, interesting stuff that happened to me, how I am improving my relationship with my parents... whatever. Just less of my feelings.
Okay maybe my blog isn't gonna change alot, but closing some part of myself to the online crowd is definitely a yes.
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